The Great Commission

The week after spring break always seems to be one of the hardest weeks of the year for me.

Maybe you're sitting in the same boat as me right now.

School and going to class does not amuse you in the slightest.

Your spirit is weary.

You're fighting against lies that tell you, you would be happier or feel more alive else where.

You want to have intentional and life giving conversations like you had last week.

You want to go back to where life and faith is simple. 

I get it. I have come to learn that I am not to be sorry for feeling this way. In fact, I believe that if you are feeling this way then good for you. It means you probably left your heart somewhere and this past week you may have loved and served more than you ever had before. In case anyone hasn't told you, thank you for giving so much of yourself to the kingdom of God.  Your work is not in vain. The problem comes when we let ourselves stay in this place. [More on that in my blogpost from last year http://malloryalamm.blogspot.com/2014/04/be-where-your-feet-are.html]

As I have been processing this past week I spent in Haiti, I have been wondering why I feel so alive in Haiti but I struggle to feel that way back home. It's not so much a faith issue. My faith remains steadfast. I mean I fully believe that God can met me here at school the same way he did in Haiti so then what is it? What is it about being out of the country that makes my heart beat a little faster?

On the last day in Haiti my devo for the day was over the great commission and this is when it all made sense.

"But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. 18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
-Matthew 28:16-20 

There is my answer right there. I feel the presence of Jesus most when I am living this out. The past week I had been so obedient to this passage and that's why I felt so alive. So now I am to live in this right here in the now. THAT is what makes my heart beat a little faster. In the moment where I am doubting Jesus' presence I should ask myself "Hey, are you living out the great commission?" This is the test of my faith.  I will be the first one to tell you that it is a lot harder in America then it is in Haiti. The Haitians have a simple faith. It easier because we spend a week where we have nothing to do but spread the gospel. Let's recognize that back here at home it's going to take a whole lot more of effort because our busy schedules and because quite frankly american's struggle to have a simple faith. But here's the thing, it is going to be worth it. So worth it when we decide to dig our heels into the hard and give God our best. The Lord will honor our efforts. I so believe that. 


How appropriate that yesterday we celebrated the tomb being empty and Jesus being ALIVE!  That's my one motivation for today. The tomb is just as empty as it was yesterday. Let us not be quick to forget that. The empty tomb means Jesus is alive I get to live in the promise that HE is with me wherever I go. It means that I get to live in HIS victory and I get to tell others about it today. It means I get to live out the great commission fully because our God is ALIVE and that changes everything. Let's believe this. Let's press into this today. Let's get up and walk so confident in this. 

Be Where Your Feet Are

This is for whoever's heart is longing to be elsewhere.

Sometimes the Lord takes us across the world and we get to encounter him in ways like never before. Sometimes the Lord even lets us fall in love with other countries and other cultures.

It's one of my absolute favorite things.

After returning from Haiti this past week, the Lord has been stirring up my spirit as I process.

I got to witness the Lord do the impossible and work out every single detail perfectly. So incredibly thankful for all my eyes got to see and all I got to do.

My spirit soared to new heights as I got to experience him in new and exciting ways.

When we return from a trip we automatically long to be back and want to feel God's overwhelming presence like we do when we travel. While there is nothing is wrong in that, Satan can so easily deceive us.

The Lord has been so gracious in teaching me that the very same God who I encountered this past week is the same God who is meeting with me right now in my bedroom in Jackson, Tennessee. That fact leaves me speechless. Our God is so vast and universal.

The Lord has been pressing the phrase "Be where your feet are" into my heart the past couple of months. We too often are wanting to be somewhere else, be with others, or doing something else. When we let ourselves fall into that trap, we are initially saying that what is in front of us is simply not enough. When we say that we are limiting not only ourselves but also limiting what God can do through us. Not only is this easy to fall into in every day life, but especially easy when we come back from a place that we left half of our heart. So what do we do? I don't have all the answers but this is just what the Lord has been telling me.

The very best thing we can do is bring before the Lord a heart full of praise and thanksgiving for all that we experienced and got to be apart of. It's incredibly hard to leave a place that we've grown attached to. How do we get back to living? How are we to move on? In all honesty, we may never fully move on. I don't think we are suppose to. We should allow ourselves to grieve the pieces of our heart that we've left behind but be quick to get back to loving those that are around us. We are not to feel guilty for missing it and wanting to go back as long as we are seeking the Lord in the place we are currently in. It's so easy to get frustrated because no one else understands what we got to experience and no matter how hard we try we can never find the words to translate it. I think that is perfectly normal and expected. May we be patient with ourselves and others as we continue to process. Keep loving all the people you got to pour into. Fervently pray for the orphanage or that village you went to. Cling tight to the sweet memories that you have of that place and carry them with you wherever you go. Recognize that words will fail you when trying to tell stories to others.  Let's allow whatever we learned to overflow into our every day lives. Maybe that means loving others more deeply. Maybe that means truly realizing how big and sovereign our God is. Maybe that means growing deeper in your relationship with Christ. Maybe that means being more persistent in sharing the gospel and being quick to pray over others. Maybe that means we stop asking ourselves who is worthy of our love and we realize the already know the answer to that. We are to love everyone, everywhere, always. It will look different for all of us, but whatever it is may we take what the Lord has shown us and let it play a part in our day to day lives.

Let's thank Jesus for what is right in front of us. Be completely and totally there.  I assure you that wherever you are right now is exactly where you are suppose to be and it is where the Lord has placed your feet. May we know that in the very depths of our souls. May we not limit our God to working and being alive in a certain country. He is all around us and working in every area of our lives. Your ministry is not only in another country, it is wherever you are right now. In the back of your mind you may know that or want to believe that but have no idea what that looks like. If that's you, I challenge you to ask the Lord. He loves it when you ask and wants nothing more than to reveal himself to you.

May the longing of our hearts not overpower what God has placed right before us. May we thank him for the time he allowed us to spend in another country or place and ask him how we may serve in the place He has us now. May we trust the Lord enough to understand that he knows our heart's desires and he will be so good in leading us back to the very place where we left our hearts in his perfect timing. Trust that. You are so needed right where you are. I promise you that. So let's lean into all that Jesus has for us in the here and now.

Maybe this post was just what you needed. Maybe it isn't. Whatever it is, I trust that the Lord is speaking right into your heart tonight.

Present

Coming out of last semester I thought my heart had seen all the heartbreak it would ever see.

I was wrong.

Heartbreak, after heartbreak. It keeps coming.

I haven't known a week while I've been in school where something absolutely heart wrenching has not happened wether it be on my campus or back at home. Not only have I experienced this but I have watched my friends walk through the hardest and trying places.

I'll be honest. A lot of it has left me speechless.

My faith has been shaken to it's core.

What if everything I have believed about God isn't true?

What if He isn't as good as I have always thought?

Is God causing these tragedies and heart break?

Why? God, Why?

I don't write this blog somehow magically having discovered the answers. The only answer I know is Jesus.

The reminder and hope of heaven has been pressed heavily into my mind this year. While there is an abundance of comfort in that and I long for that day just as much as Jesus does, I hit a wall where I needed to be reminded of exactly who Jesus is. Jesus being my everything and making good on his promises he showed me what I needed to hear.

The story of Jesus weeping over the death of Lazarus became so real to me.

Through every heartbreak, I know that Jesus was fully present and engaged. His gaze is so fixed upon us.

I don't say that because it makes me feel better or its my way of comforting myself. I say it because it is scriptural.

In John 11, Jesus knew that Lazarus was about to be raised from the dead and even though he saw the glory that was coming, he bent low and wept. In that moment he was fully human and we are able to relate with him like never before. He was present and fully in the moment. My heart can't get over that.

God is not offended or disgusted with our hurt, confused and broken hearts. He welcomes them gladly, even though he knows the good that is to come, He is right there with us. He is there in the screaming, the sobbing, the questioning, the restless nights, and in the moments when you want to give up.  He, oh HE is near so very near to the brokenhearted.

God's character does not change in midst of tragedy. He does not waver and change like the world too easily does. He is steadfast and sure. He is our faithful strength and anchor in midst of any storm. He was present in the suffering of his son and He is going to be nothing less for us in our trials.

Knowing all of these things, I will not back down or give in. I will press forward in all that the Lord would have for me. I leave it all in His hands trusting that He is making something beautiful out of me. God is still on his throne with no threat. He reigns and nothing will ever change that. So keep pressing in, friends, God is far better than anything we could ever imagine.

Full Circle

This morning it clicked. It all became full circle.

And what I mean by that is the verse, Psalm 37:3 "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness" made complete sense to me. 

After hearing Louie Giglio preach on this verse 2 years ago,  I have plastered it on my mirrors at home and here at school it sits on my dresser so I would constantly be reminded of it. I have sat and pondered this verse over and over and dwelled deeply on it. But I never understood the beauty of cultivating faithfulness until now. 

When you declare in the midst of confusion and messiness that HE is still good, HE will come to you and give you the desires of your heart.  When you decide that no matter what HE is worth it all and you are faithful to HIM, HE will reward you tenfold. I can guarantee you that. Because God makes good on His promises. Because He is 100% faithful to you and when you decide to do the same, a stunning collision happens and beauty in its purest form comes to you. When He comes, you better believe He is going to bring His best. 

Utter Joy.

Community.

Abundance of Grace. 

Overwhelming Love. 

Life to the Full. 

The weaker I become, the stronger and more solid HE becomes. As this semester is coming to an end this is something I have known. It's a really beautiful thing when Christ is all you've got and He becomes your stronghold and refuge. There's absolutely no better place to be. 

God rewards faithfulness, not success my friends. So wherever life finds you right now, cultivate faithfulness and see his goodness come to you. His goodness will stop you in your tracks and stun you in the best way possible. Trust me. If you could see into my heart right now it would have Psalm 37 etched on it and be echoing Meredith Andrew's Worth it All album. That's the best way I can describe my reaction to His goodness :) 

Nothing I Hold On To

If we're being completely honest, this isn't exactly how I would have my life to be. 

I would be exploring another country. 

Friendships would still be alive and thriving. 

Relationships would have worked out. 

Heartache wouldn't be present. 

I would be on the front lines of raw ministry. 

But here's the thing, it's not about me. It never was and never will be. It is all about Jesus. Bottom line. Every time I wish things were different, I lose sight of eternity. And without Him, this would just be one sad story of a girl wallowing in self-pity. Because of Jesus I am able to deem my life good and beautiful. 

This semester I have known heartbreak. Heartbreak of the past and present. There are things I don't understand and probably never will. I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm learning to loosen my grip and place it in the hands of my creator. There's nothing I hold on to. It's all HIS. And whatever HE decides to do with my life, it's going to be far better than anything I could imagine.

Don't get me wrong, the Lord has been so good to me in midst of my trails. He has sent me the sweetest of friends. Friends who say, chin up girl, it's all about God's plan not ours. And his timing? Well it couldn't be more perfect. Friends who reaffirm my purpose of being at Union. How could I forget my darling sister who has allowed me to cry to her over the phone more times than I can count and comfort my messy and weary heart.

On the days where I don't see my purpose in being in school, when heartbreak overwhelms me, when the desire to be somewhere far far away is too present, I will look upward and be reminded that what God has planned is so much bigger than myself. If I for one second think that my plans are better than His, how foolish I would be. He is writing the most beautiful story for me. So in knowing that, I walk forward in obedience while making sure I recognize all the good that is around me. Darling, no matter how awful or terrible days or weeks may be, there is still good to be found. I promise you that. If you can't seem to find anything that is good, God is always good. And that will never change.  He's going to be faithful to me. Time and time again, He has proven that to be true and that's not going to stop now. So while I sit patiently before my Lord, I will keep loving and living right where I am. That's all that's required of us. To love God and his people with all we've got. You better believe me when I say it'll be worth it. SO worth it. So friends, let's bundle up, cling to good and love from the center of who we are.

"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder." - Romans 12:9-12 

"Maybe courage is not at all about the absence of fear but about obedience even when we are afraid. Courage is trusting when we don’t know what is next, leaning into the hard and knowing that it will be hard, but more, God will be near. We live in a world where innocent people suffer and good friends die and stories don’t have the endings we prayed for, and the pain and the hurt, it is everywhere. But the Joy and the Hope that we find in our Savior? It is everywhere, too. I do not have all the answers; in fact, I don’t have many at all. But this is what I know: God is who He says He is. And in the hurt and the pain and the suffering, God is near, and He is good, even when the ending isn’t." -Katie Davis


Nothing I Hold On To by Will Reagan and United Pursuit singing straight into the depths of my heart. Check it out.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCiOL7PIi0o&feature=player_embedded

I lean not on my own understanding
My life is in the hands of the Maker of heaven

I give it all to You God
trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me

There's nothing I hold on to
There's nothing I hold on to
There's nothing I hold on to
There's nothing I hold on to

I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open

Here, Jesus Have My Crumbs

I have always respected and even looked up to people who have chosen to fast from Social Media. 

But, I for one was never going to do it. 

I mean I am in charge of various things. People need me on Social Media. Plus I receive encouragement on Social Media. Therefore I shouldn't/couldn't ever fast from Social Media. 

Well this week I stopped making excuses and finally did it. 

I fasted from Social Media for a week. Quite honestly, It was tough. But it was such a blessing. 

Think about it. Social Media rules our world. 

I'm willing to admit I was addicted to it. 

My name is Mallory Lamm and I am a recovering Social Media Addict. 

I constantly, in some shape or form had on Social Media up on my computer or on my phone. I was always in the know and never missed a thing. 

It's unhealthy. I would even check Social Media at a red light. A RED LIGHT. 

I learned the harsh truth this week: You and others will survive if you sign off of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or pinterest for a day, week, month or even a year. 

Trust me, It'll be okay. Just a warning it may cause you or others to make a phone call or have a face to face conversation. Shocking, I know. 

Not only is this unhealthy but it seriously damaged my relationship with Jesus. 

I gave Him the crumbs. The bare minimum. 

Offering up the King of Kings, The Lord God Almighty crumbs is embarrassing and disappointing when he deserves the best. He deserves far more than even a feast. 

Jesus and I had some real good talks this week. I needed to make a big decision this week and I desperately needed guidance from Jesus. Though I am not 100% sure where Jesus is leading me I have clearer understanding then I would have from wasting time on Social Media. 

Know this: You will never regret spending time with Jesus. You are guaranteed to be blessed when you enter into communion with Him. 

Isaiah 58:6-11

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
    with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.

Things will change from here on out regarding how much time I invest in Social Media. I'm going to need to discipline myself. God deserves our very best, Far more then 5 minutes before bed or a quick prayer in the morning. Good rule of thumb:  However much time you spend on Social Media, double that and spend it with your Heavenly Father. 

I'm planning on fasting at least a few times a week now. 

So here's my suggestion to you: sign off of your Social Media accounts and spend some much needed time with Jesus. You won't regret it. I promise. 




If you want to talk to me more about this don't hesitate to contact me! 

Keep Walking.

The season of life that I am in is one that is very dry and trying.

Many burdens have been piling on top of me keeping my face to the ground hiding me from my glorious Savior. 

The burden of Junior Senior and not having a date. (not really a big deal but satan made it into one) 

The burden and fear of the Unknown.

The burden of not having a church home that fills my soul. 

The burden of feeling like a failure. 

The burden of being good enough for my parents. 

These things of been pressing in on me...becoming too much for my ever so fragile heart to bear. 

I have let these things cripple me.

I have been desperate for healing. 

 This I know: 

I am beautiful because my Lord is truly beautiful. 

Guys do NOT define me. My identity is found in Christ alone. 

One day my soul will have an eternal home where I can drink freely from the stream of life.

I am NOT a failure in the eyes of my Father. Even though the world keeps telling me that I am. 

If Abba God says that I am successful and an over comer then I am. 

..Despite what the world says. 

To Jesus, I'm good enough. 

HE loves me for who I am. 

HE loves me in all of my imperfections and mess ups. 

HE knows me better than I know myself.

HE understands me in all of my complexity. 

The Living One sees me. 

I just got back from Ecuador and the healing spirit was ever so present. 

On the plane, God let me see one of his best paintings. 

Yes, a sunset :) 

To make things better, in the book I was reading it was as if He was speaking directly to me. 

Here are a few things that spoke to me: 

(From the book, The Resolution for Women)

'The life you're renovating has far too much God- given potential for you to plant its roots in something so menial. Dig deep and lean in to the truth-the truth of who you are and what He's created you to offer the world.'

'We were each created by God to do our part. And if we fail to do it because we dont think its valuable enough, great loss will be suffered. Someone, somewhere, needs you- in all of your uniqueness- to step up to the plate of your calling...Rather than seeking to impress and out perfrom others and rather than feeling ashamed by what you don't have and can't do, relish the opportunity to stand as a living, walking, eating, breathing example of what God's grace can do with a women He has set apart, weakness and all, to be a sacred vessel in His service. You are a purposeful place setting. A masterpiece worth celebrating.' 

'Even if you may not be inherently pleased with the person He's made you to be, even if you maybe not abundantly happy with the circumstances you're currently living, you can be sure that God has planted you here with design and intention. He has selected the "soil" where you're presently growing... It's all been divinely designed yo surround you with the conditions that allow your unique gifts and abilities to reach maximum potential. To grow. To yield. To produce.'

My spirit is on the mend. 

Slowly, my spirit is being renewed. 

I'm coming out of the desert.

I'm ready to rise up out of this valley. 

What I keep telling myself: 

Keep walking through this desolate and dry place. Gushing rivers and streams are ahead where you can drink deep and rest. 

You are strong and you are okay. 

Head up, the best is yet to come. 

Trust Him. He Knows you. He has special plans for you.

Getting To Know Jesus

I have come to the realization that I do not know Jesus nearly as well as I should. 

Don't get me wrong--I know who Jesus is. In fact, I would even go and say that I have a strong relationship with God and the Holy Spirit.

But here's the problem--I have neglected Jesus Christ. 

If I fail to recognize Jesus and know him intimately, then I have missed the whole point. 

Jesus is why I have salvation. 

HE is the one who went to the cross and bore the pain of my sin. 

Too often do I cheapen what He has done for me. 

I am starting out on a journey to get to know Jesus better.

To find out the real truth about Him. 

Not what the world or someone else tells me who He is.

 I want to find out for myself. 

To find out who God in flesh is like and the way he lived. 

My desire is to see you rightly, Jesus. 

Lately, Abba has been testing my patience. 

HE is beckoning me to come and sit at his feet but...

that takes discipline and requires me to lay down everything. 

He is telling me to surrender to wanting things to happen in my own time. 

HE is the author of time. 

So, I'll learn to trust him. 

HE knows my heart intimately and He knows exactly what I need. 

I will not be put to shame for waiting on you, Lord. 

"The moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." 

Romans 8:26-28

Wherever

Okay God 'wherever'...wherever you want me to go. Kyle Idleman says in his book, Not a Fan, "Wherever? What about in your own home? There is the tendency to carry a cross and follow Jesus, but before we walk in the door of our own home, we leave the cross on the front porch. 


Instead of submitting, you stand up for your rights. Instead of serving you sit around. 


Instead of being patient, you are demanding. Instead of being encouraging, you are constantly critical.


Instead of being a spiritual leader, you are passive and apathetic in your own home. So how about there?" 


Wow. Called out. I am completely guilty. 


He goes on to say "If you are following Jesus wherever, he will take you toward a sinner that others dont want to be seen with. You will find yourself among the sick that others try to avoid. If you follow Jesus, expect to find yourself being criticized by some of the religious people in your life. If you follow Jesus you may find that your family thinks you're crazy...his did. You may find yourself being unfairly accused and unjustly treated by those in political office. Ultimately if you follow Jesus wherever, you dont just end up covered in his dust, you will end up covered in His blood."

"It is not within our power to put the divine teachings of God directly into the heart of another. We can only lay them on the surface of the heart so that when the heart breaks they are the first to fall in."

Priority

You know what I have been struggling with lately? To me it seems kinda weird but the more I have talked with people it seems to be pretty common and its something we dont talk about often.
I have been getting so envious of others when I am not in their top group of friends but they are in mine. Does that make sense? Such as with certain friends they are a priority in my life but I'm not in theirs. Im going to be completely honest it really hurts me. Sometimes I feel like I pour so much of myself into friendships but dont hardly get anything in return. It has been such a burden to me. I am tired of it. Its so heavy. And I will admit sometimes its the other way around for me. I dont appreciate enough of my friends.


I heard God say this to me:
"Whoa. Whoa. Mallory, Think about me.


This is the amazing thing about God. When He isnt a priority in my life, I am a priority in HIS eyes. He does not stop pursing me and loving me. He keeps giving of himself to me even though I dont acknowledge it or thank Him. Somehow we get the thought in our head that God owes us something when he doesnt owe us anything. We dont deserve it. Jesus already paid the ultimate price.


I want to make sure Christ is always the top priority in my life. Not giving half of me but ALL. Okay Lord, you can have me....even the deepest depths of my hearts. Its all yours.


So since I am suppose to be a complete reflection of Christ I will continue to pour myself into these type of friendships. Because Christ does the same for me.

I also have been lovin the Song King Of All Days by Hillsong--

In your surrender

As you lay down your life

You took up a sinners cross

And your live rescued mine

In this redemption

Love and mercy display

Lifting my eyes to see

That your truth never fails

Lord of the heavens

King of all days

Without you my world slips away

Redeemed by your mercy

Consumed by your grace

Now I live for you

I'm found in the arms of love

Your love it has saved my soul

I'll run to your arms of love

Your life's gonna lead me home

Glorious savior

In your light I am free

If things of this world will fail

Still you're all that I need

Lord of the heavens

King of all days

Without you my world slips away

Redeemed by your mercy

Consumed by your grace

Now I live for you

I'm found in the arms of love

Your love it has saved my soul

I'll run to your arms of love

Your life's gonna lead me home

(And) at your cross

I lay my burden

At your feet

Where your love covers

All I've done

Now I walk with you lord

I'm found in the arms of love

For your love it has saved my soul

I'll run to your arms of love

Your life's gonna lead me home

Time to be Bold

Between the radio going and dazing off in my own world it is so easy to take a wrong turn without recognizing it. I think it is time that I hit my brakes, slow down and pull to the side and make sure I am on the right path.

This past week the Holy Spirit has convicted me. I am not nearly as Bold for Christ as I should be. It's so easy to talk to my core group of friends about God and about their spiritual lives and while I am SO thankful for that and it's a huge blessing- I must do more to spread Christ. I'm going to be completely honest I only talk about God on a deep level with my core group of friends because I am scared of how others will respond. I don't want to step on others toes or offend them. Yes, I truly believe that we should lead by example- most of the time actions do speak louder than words.

But hear this: God requires more. Much more.

We have been given the task to carry the name of Jesus. I admit often times I let Him down and instead of lifting Him up higher and higher I drag Him around as if it's a burden. As Jesus says in Matthew 11:30 "the burden I give you is LIGHT!" We are so blessed that the creator of the Universe chooses to call us His children!

"It is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called his name!" -1 Peter 4:16.

I have missed sharing the good news of Christ with so many people. This week I have been so disgusted with the ways of sin and I become disappointed in myself for not looking out for their best interest and not speaking Christ into their lives. I am challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and seek out the lost people. To be BOLD in asking about their spiritually life and about God. There are so many people that are in great need of a Savior and I cant hold back any longer. So I am turning my car around and going back to get the people I simply just waved at or ignored and picking them up on the bandwagon of Christ.


I am saying Yes, to you Lord, to wherever you lead me. I am completely yours.

True Friendship

Friends. I would say have many friends. Sure, I have plenty of people that I could hang out with. Plenty of people that I could laugh on and on with.

But heres the problem...
How many of those people are actually my true friends? Sadly, Not Many.

Lately my eyes have been opened to the emptiness of friendships.

I want friends that will be there when I need them.

Friends who I can text and tell them I need prayers and I know they are one their knees before the throne of God.

Friends to be truly happy when I'm happy. [I am so bad at this. Too often do I shatter others joy because I am so selfish and I want that happiness for myself.]

Friends who, when I'm walking through a dark path, dont just watch me but rather step into the darkness with me and lead me to the light.

Friends who I can pray with. Not just saying "I'll pray for you" (side note: How often do we say that and never actually do it?) Hearing others pray is one of the most encouraging things.

Friends where it isn't awkward to talk about God. Where Abba God is at the base of our conversations.

Friends who dont talk about eachother behind their backs. (I see this too much.)

Friends where I dont have to worry about the bad jokes or decisions they are going to make.

Friends who are constantly speaking truth over me.


Im so thankful that God has placed a couple people like this in my life and it is such a blessing! I say these things not only for what I crave my friendships to look like but also to preach at myself. I like to say that I try my very best to be this type of friend. But I fail at doing so. Often times I let myself get busy and worry about me me me instead of my friends. I want my friendships to be Full instead of empty. Overflowing with God's grace and goodness.

"This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." -John 15:12-13
I have read this verse probably more times then I can count. I dont think Love each other in the same way I have loved you. part has ever clicked. Jesus calls,no commands us to love the way He has loved us! His love for us is so vast. His love for us is unconditional and never-ending. That means that I should love others even when they do wrong to me. Forgive what seems to be unforgivable. Enveloping others in love in times of heartache. Putting others above myself.

I pray that I can be a true friend and really love just as Christ has loved me.

I am a Woman of God

Last night I saw courageous. Great great movie. It was about what God wanted for his sons. This sparked the interest in my mind of what does God want for his Daughters? What was his intent for us? What does being a woman of God look like?
I'm starting a journey to figure out what The King of Kings really wants for and from his daughters. I'm excited to see what God will reveal to me! I found this last night and it is just beautiful.

I am a Woman of God.

I am capable, intelligent and virtuous woman.
I am far more precious than jewels and my value is far above rubies and pearls.
Strength and Dignity are my clothing and my position is strong and secure.
I open my mouth with skillful and godly wisdom.
The bread of idleness, gossip, discontent and self-pity I will not eat.

The beauty of the world is vain but my beauty comes from reverently fearing the Lord.
Each day I will focus on the present knowing that God's grace is sufficient for every task.

I surrender all disappoints, fears and misunderstandings to the Lord.
Forgetting those things that are behind and laying every sin and weight that easily entangles me, I press on to the high prize of being a Woman of God.

I am strong in you, Lord and in the power of your might.
God, you are my Father and I am your precious daughter.
Jesus, you are my bridegroom and I am your beautiful bride.
I am created in your image, a picture of your love.






Beautiful Girls, Dwell on these things.

Isaiah 55:8

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.'"
-Isaiah 55:8

My plans are far different from God's. Upon the arrival to San Quintin we were notified of a tragic accident. One of the tween boys (Issac), who was deaf and mute, was hit by a car and passed away on the way to the hospital. My mindset was changed. My plans for the next day were changed. My prayer was changed. Going to church sunday I entered into a place of mourning and sorrow but yet there was peace. You could tell the people of the church were rooted in God and were trusting in HIM. The church became a place to cry, a place to heal and a place to be loved. It was incredibly beautiful how all of it took place. Preachers from all the churches in Baja came to show support for Issacs family and for the chruch family of San Quintin. I wish thats how it is here in America.

Sunday afternoon I was called to something bigger than myself. Mr.Lee asked me to go with him to help get ready for the funeral/wake for Issac. Why me? Its something I have never done. I truly believe that was how God wanted me to send peace and comfort to this family. We wanted it to be beautiful for Issac. He was an exceptional kid. We went and got pure white flowers and royal blue fabric for them to be placed on. At the end of the day I was exhausted and in great need of God's strength.

Over the course of sunday evening and Monday I heard God whisper "Follow me." I prayed that God would open my eyes to the things unseen. The very next day I had the oppurtunity of going with Jason Bybee on Benevolence. It was a smaller group which I love because it is more intimate. The first house we went to the spirit of God was ever so present. A lady was in bad need of crutches and medical attention to her foot. Luckily a girl that was with us had medical experience. We had a new mission for the day, to find crutches for this precious lady. We found some but they were too tall so some of our wonderful Dads worked magic and made them the perfect height. It gets better. As the day goes on we met a lady named Francessca. She has been having problems with her ex-husband. He is trying to get her to move out of her house and has gotten a lawyer involved. All because he wants the money. We shared tears with her and prayed over her. Join me in praying that God with intervene in this situation. In the afternoon everyone was going to the soccer game but I felt called to visit more homes and spend time with these people. They have so much to teach me. So Jason and 3 others plus a translator set off to the home of Maria. She is a single mother with the cutest little boy named Aaron. The more we talked with her we learned that she has been struggling with the decision to be baptized. She is scared that she will mess up and she doesnt want to end up like her dad who has an alcohol addicition. Jason talked with her for over and hour and i really believe she was encouraged and one step closer to making the best decision of her life. Overall, this was my favorite day because Gods presence was everywhere.

I crave for the simplicity of life that abounds in Baja. Though they dont have much material things they have something that is priceless. They have a faith that isnt shaped by the world's view. They truly know what it means to be a church family. In the midst of their brokeness they come as they are and handle their struggles together. That is something that I miss the most along with the precious children. I long to hold one of the precious kids in my arms, they are so loving.Their sweet smiles fill me with joy. By striving to bend lower and lower (previous post) this year I got the most out of it. I pray that if its God will he will lead me back there.

True Reflection

If you are anything like me when you hear someone say "Be Jesus", "Be the image of God" I think loving the unlovable and being nice to everyone. Those things are true but it is so much deeper than that.

The other day in class I was thanking one of my teachers for being respectful of her students and she said, "of course! Do some teachers not respect you?" I said, "No, therefore if they cant respect me I will not respect them." She responded with, "Jesus stills respects those people." Whoa. So true. I was thrown back by her comment and it was very eye opening.

Personally, when someone hurts me or throws my heart on the side of the road I get mad and I dont want to talk them ever again because of the pain they have caused me. If someone hurts me and they dont realize it I start waiting for an apology and hold anger against them till they have realized it. How many times could God do that to us? Every day God could forget us and say you have hurt me so many times that im done with you. I will not love you anymore. Go on your way. Or he could easily say you still havent apologized for that one night or that one sin so im done pursuing you and hold anger towards us. Here is the thing, He doesnt do that.

God keeps pursuing me when I dont reflect him in the best ways. He still loves me. He still wants the best for me. When I havent asked for forgivness yet, he makes me white as snow. He never leaves when I dont do my best for him. Praise God for that.


Abba God,
Transform me to be more like you and I mean really like you. Take every part of my life and my thoughts and consume them. Overcome my flesh and fill me up with you. I want to be a true reflection of you.

"Let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am Holy; you be Holy." -1 Peter 1:15-16 (MSG)

My Inheritance

Yesterday, I had the oppurutnity to do something that was far bigger than myself. I spoke in Girls chapel. This is something I have always planned on doing but not until my senior year. God had some other plans. Abba placed in me this passion and told me I needed to tell more girls about it.
I had a few weeks to prepare and let me tell you though it wasnt easy. Satan was completley against me because he knew I was doing something to advance the Kingdom of God. Satan constantly whispered lies to me Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. You arent really passionate about this. Its too much trouble to let this happen. Give up now. Do you really believe in that big and powerful God? I wasnt going to let Satan win, I fought against the lies and prayed fervently for God to speak truth over me.
The day finally came and God filled me up with HIS spirit and I'm completley convinced it was Him who was talking through me. I asked everyone to bring their bibles so they could follow along with me. We camped out in Genesis 25:29-34:
"Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. 30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!”
Esau is starving. He has a big appetite. Just as in our lives we all hunger and crave for something. Maybe its acceptance, Maybe all you want is to be loved, Maybe all you desire is winning, Maybe you just want to be recongnized. We look to the world for all of this things when God already gives them to us. We can stop seeking. HE accepts you just the way you are. HE Loves you with an everlasting love and there is nothing you can do that could make him love you any less. God wins. HE has already won the ultimate battle for us. God reconizes you. For the things you do for his kingdom. He calls you by name. Appetites are never going to go away. They are never fully satisfied. Its like going to your favorite restaurant and eating your favorite meal and you are so stuffed that you say you are never eating again. Then 3 hours later you are looking in the pantry.

"31Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” 32 “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?” 33 But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.So Esau despised his birthright."

Having the birthright is a big deal. There are 3 things taht come along with having the birthright. If you had the birthright you got a double portion of the inheritance. You also got to be the judge of the family after the parents were gone and also with it came a sense of blessing. As I was reading this I thought who does that? who sales their birthright for a bowl of stew? You do. Everyday we trade our inheritance from God for something that we think is more important. Such as gossip, we are too worried about knowing the latest news or spending more time with your boyfriend than you do God or having sex with your boyfriend or cheating, because you want to do good on that really hard test or lying or wanting to be envied even for our faith. I think one that I struggle with is spending more time on facebook than with God. Satan does a great job of making these things look good and makes us think they will fill us but it is just a cheap imidation of the real treasure.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. According to His great mercy, He has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, uncorrupted, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by God's power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." -1 Peter 1:3-5 HCSB

Dont trade your inheritance ftom God for a temporary bowl of stew because you have no idea how God may use you to change the world. Think of the day when finally reach home and you are in the presence of God in all its glory and you see Jesus face to face. You run and embrace him and he embraces you. He looks you in the eyes and says "Well done my good and faithful servant." What a beautiful reunion it will be. So I ask you what is in your bowl of stew? Whats keeping you from God?
I played the song My inheritance by Ronnie Freeman
The response was overwhelming. So many people came to give me hug and feed me words of praise and encouragement. Today I recieved an envelope full of cards from some of the middle school girls.

God assured me that his voice was heard. Its not because of anything I have done, but because of who God is. This is the power of Christ in me. I am merely a hole in the flute that God breathes through. I have only stood along the shore of God's beauty and goodness.

I'm not trading anything for the inheritance of God because he is my very great reward and nothing compares to knowing and loving Him.

Happiness Inspires Hope

Wow. Where to start with my week at Give Kids the World. God put together the perfect team. Our job was to be joyful and I learned that through being happy it gave them hope. It was the most draining trip emotionally and physically. At first I thought the trip was going to be emotionally draining because of hearing the stories and of what I saw but it wasnt that at all. I feel like I gave all of myself, everything was about the families and the kids. Completley had to take yourself out of the picture. I realized that is what Jesus did for us, He gave His all so we could have joy and have a hope of spending eternity with Him.

The first morning I was nervous and I didnt know what to expect. My job was working in the gingerbread house which is the place where the families eat. I had the job of carrying their trays to the table. Let me tell you they didnt expect it and their faces lit up when you served them. I had the best job, I was able to talk with the families and just get to know them. Many of the kids didnt look sick in fact it was hard to even tell who the sick child was in the family, but then there were many who looked very sick and it was hard but I tried my best to look at them through God's eyes. While serving donuts later on in the morning a mom asked Mckenna and I come over to her table and all she wanted was to tell us the story of her son. Her son was diagnosed with lymphoma disease. The doctors told them that he had two weeks to live and they had the choice of letting him go or try to do an aggressive treatment and had the possibility of dying in the process. They choose the aggressive treatment and it worked, he was healed. It has been a year and a half and he is doing great.

I have many stories and memories I can tell. I could talk for hours on how magical this place is. In one of my previous posts I talked about how we werent allowed to talk about God publicly. I am certain that God's voice was heard this week and it was loud. In the chapel there are journals where families, volunteers and staff could pray and write. I went through both of the journals and read every entry. It was hard to read them but at the same time it was very uplifting. Many parents expressed that they had lost all faith in God when their child became sick but they said that being able to go to Give Kids the World seeing their child happy and being able to relax restored their faith. Give Kids the World Village is God's place. One prayer that touched me was written by a 10 year old girl named Olivia and she wrote how thankful she was for God healing her. She said "thanks to you Jesus Im fine now, im more than fine, Im great. I cant wait to spend eternity with you."

One of my favorite moments was the last night when I was working the big splash bash I meet a 10 year old boy named Brody from Austrailia. Im not sure what his illness was but that didnt matter. All he wanted to do was dance. He grabbed my hands and we started dancing. He even taught me some new dance moves. He had the biggest smile that melted my heart.

Writing this was hard but also easy at the same time. It was hard because I long to be with those kids and the families. It was easy because it was the best week and I feel in love with that place. If its God's will, I hope to return many times there.

"Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. "Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you." -Nehemiah 9:5b-6

1 Day

Wednesday morning I make my way down to Flordia, right outside of Orlando for a mission trip to Give Kids The World. It is part of the Make a Wish Foundation and is a huge resort for Kids who have a life-threatening illness.I cannot wait to be down there. I know going into this trip that it is going to be emotionally draining but that isnt my biggest worry or obstacle that I will be facing. While we are down there we arent allowed to speak about God unless someone brings it up first. When they first told us that, it was something really hard to understand. I am so used to going to Mexico or wherever and the whole point of the trip is to spread the name of God. Trying to process this through my mind I knew I had to go straight to God with this. God filled my mind with the perfect thoughts and mind set of going into this.
Abba Father,
I pray for the trip down to Give Kids the World, despite the fact that we cant speak of you, your name is still able to be heard! May we love those kids with your love Father. Open my eyes to the things unseen. Even though some of the people may not know you and thats hard for us to process, God let me know that you know what you are doing and the best thing we can do is pray because prayer changes things. Make me strong God, let your joy flow out of me, in hopes of letting people see you. Just because we cant speak of you, that doesnt make you unpresent. You are always with me. I pray that I seek out your strength and your love. You have put each of us on this team for a reason and im so excited about what you are going to do. Prepare our hearts Oh Lord...Let me go unafraid...

"You are a letter from Chirst..written not with ink but with the spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." -2 Corinthians 3:3

You have the chance to fly

Francis Chan quotes in his book Forgotten God, "I want to live so that I am truly submitted to the spirits leading on a daily basis. I dont want to keep crawling when I have the chance to fly." I feel like we put too much trust in people and then when something goes wrong you end up getting hurt. Many people will let you down and disappoint you but your Savior never will. So shouldnt that encourage us to fall in love with God? The thought of heaven seems so far away so we let ourselves live the lifes we want and we'll worry about God later. The kingdom is here; it is now. Why dont we live like it? If your best freind was being talked about behind their back and you had the oppurtunity to protect their name wouldnt you? Why isnt it like that with the name of Christ? We go and watch movies, listen to music and do things that arent lifting up the name of Jesus. We do the very things that put Him on the cross. I feel like when you are completly in love with God it would become so natural to you that you would want to do everything to protect and hold up the name of Jesus. So hear is my question: Why would you crawl when you have the chance to fly?

"Oh Great God, be glorified. Our lives laid down yours magnified. Oh great God, be lifted high. There is none like You. Jesus, Savior, God's own Son. Risen, Reigning, Lord. Sustainer of the universe. By the power of Your Word. And when we see Your matchless face, in speechless awe we'll stand. And there we'll bow with ...grateful hearts. Unto the great I Am."

Holy Spirit Come

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth." -John 14:17-18
Whenever weget baptized we are baptized in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I feel like too often me miss or dont even recongnize the Holy Spirit within us. As Francis Chan says in his book Forgotten God, "I believe this missing something is actually a missing someone namely the Holy Spirit. Without Him people operate in their own strength and only accomplish human size results." Knowing that the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in me; Shouldnt that change or affect the way I live? I would hope that you could tell my life apart from a non-believers. Whenever I die I dont want people questioning if I was a follower of Christ, I want it to be evident in my life. I think Francis Chan's words this thought just beautifully. "I dont want my life to be explainable with the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power. I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for him to come through. That if he doesnt come through; Im screwed.". "When I am living in a way that requires me to depend on the Holy Spirit people respond by praising my Father in Heaven." Last night I could feel the Power of the Holy Spirit. We went to different stations and had quiet time with God. In one of the stations it was suggested to send a text to someone to encourage them. Usually, I would have choosen one of my best friends and wouldn't have really thought about anyone else. I told God, I wanted it to be your time, speak through me. God moved me to send a text to someone who would have probably been at the end of list. But I knew I needed to do it. Then we were told to write a letter to someone. The name of the person who God wanted me to write to immediately popped onto my head. I got my paper, not completley sure if what to say. But God was making my pen move to words I could have never thought of. they were completley HIS. He knew what this person needed to hear. In this moment I have never felt the Holy spirit so present in my life. This summer God has taught and showed me a lot about His love and at that moment an overwhelming feeling of his love for me and for his children came over me. I just wanted to just cry at how beautiful His love for us is. Just wow. His love is alive and is so beautiful. "No matter where you live and what your days look like; you have the choice each day to depend on yourself to live safely, to try to control your life or you can live as you were created to live as a temple of the Holy Spirit of God, as a person dependent on Him;desperate for God to show up and make a difference. When you begin living a life characterized by walking with the spirit, that is when people will begin to not look to you but to our Father in heaven and give Him praise." -Francis Chan. Abba God, I pray that I am always aware of the Holy Spirit and what He is doing around and in me. Give me the strength oh God, to be everything that I'm called to be. I pray that my life would me different because the Holy Spirit is within me. I'm all yours God, lead me to what our want me to do. Never stop pulling me to you. Draw me deeper Lord...