The week after spring break always seems to be one of the hardest weeks of the year for me.
Maybe you're sitting in the same boat as me right now.
School and going to class does not amuse you in the slightest.
Your spirit is weary.
You're fighting against lies that tell you, you would be happier or feel more alive else where.
You want to have intentional and life giving conversations like you had last week.
You want to go back to where life and faith is simple.
I get it. I have come to learn that I am not to be sorry for feeling this way. In fact, I believe that if you are feeling this way then good for you. It means you probably left your heart somewhere and this past week you may have loved and served more than you ever had before. In case anyone hasn't told you, thank you for giving so much of yourself to the kingdom of God. Your work is not in vain. The problem comes when we let ourselves stay in this place. [More on that in my blogpost from last year http://malloryalamm.blogspot.com/2014/04/be-where-your-feet-are.html]
As I have been processing this past week I spent in Haiti, I have been wondering why I feel so alive in Haiti but I struggle to feel that way back home. It's not so much a faith issue. My faith remains steadfast. I mean I fully believe that God can met me here at school the same way he did in Haiti so then what is it? What is it about being out of the country that makes my heart beat a little faster?
On the last day in Haiti my devo for the day was over the great commission and this is when it all made sense.
"But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. 18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
-Matthew 28:16-20
There is my answer right there. I feel the presence of Jesus most when I am living this out. The past week I had been so obedient to this passage and that's why I felt so alive. So now I am to live in this right here in the now. THAT is what makes my heart beat a little faster. In the moment where I am doubting Jesus' presence I should ask myself "Hey, are you living out the great commission?" This is the test of my faith. I will be the first one to tell you that it is a lot harder in America then it is in Haiti. The Haitians have a simple faith. It easier because we spend a week where we have nothing to do but spread the gospel. Let's recognize that back here at home it's going to take a whole lot more of effort because our busy schedules and because quite frankly american's struggle to have a simple faith. But here's the thing, it is going to be worth it. So worth it when we decide to dig our heels into the hard and give God our best. The Lord will honor our efforts. I so believe that.
How appropriate that yesterday we celebrated the tomb being empty and Jesus being ALIVE! That's my one motivation for today. The tomb is just as empty as it was yesterday. Let us not be quick to forget that. The empty tomb means Jesus is alive I get to live in the promise that HE is with me wherever I go. It means that I get to live in HIS victory and I get to tell others about it today. It means I get to live out the great commission fully because our God is ALIVE and that changes everything. Let's believe this. Let's press into this today. Let's get up and walk so confident in this.
